Daybreak My Heart
by DoitsuDeutschland
Summary: You never expected that you would miss having your stupid, clown-faced roommate around, but when you need him he's not there, even when your heart's been broken. So much for being your 'BeSt BrO'. GamKar humanstuck one-shot


Based on an rp between me and my friend Kairi, she was Gamzee and I was Karkat.

Summery: You never expected that you would miss having your stupid, clown-faced roommate around, but when you need him he's not there, even when your heart's been broken. So much for being your 'BeSt BrO'.

Pairing: GamKar (mentioned KarTere, GamTav and Gam/a bunch of people no one gives a shit about)

Warning: human!AU, emotions, some OOC-ness but who cares, mentioned sex, cussing (it's Gamzee and Karkat, do I really need a warning for that?) other stuff

I own nothing but the plot

On with the fic!

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Daybreak My Heart

One-shot

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Why can't romances work out like they do in romantic comedies? That was the question you asked yourself as you sat on the old, stained couch in your small living room, alone in the darkness with you favorite blanket, crimson-eyes focused on the television screen.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you're suffering from loneliness and heartbreak.

Just hours ago, when you were checking you pointless facebook page, you noticed a message on your wall. It was from Terezi, your girlfriend. She told you in a message, where everyone could see, that it was over. All she said was:

'H3Y K4RK4T, YOU'R3 R34LLY BOR1NG 4ND HON3STLY, 1 KNOW 1 COULD DO B3TT3R. SORRY, BR34K1NG UP W1TH YOU.'

You had sat there, too many emotions swimming about in your think pan. You called her up and yelled at her, asking if this was some stupid joke. She laughed and said that she was serious, she wanted your three-month relationship to end. She wasn't really all that into you and just agreed to date you mostly to humor you.

This was a blow to your heart, you actually had a huge crush on her, since middle school, and you were excited that she had accept your offer of dating her. But then... she had to go and say she was just humoring her. You screamed and cried and threw your phone, luckily you just bounced it off your bed, you can't afford a new phone, not when your two jobs barely cover your bills and food.

You decide to drown your sorrows and broken heart in a marathon of RomComs and caramel popcorn. You are currently watching '50 First Dates', you love this movie, you love Adam Sandler's acting in it, hell, you just love the guy's movies anyway. You have them all, the marathon went from chick flicks to Adam Sandler movies pretty fast, you had watched 'Billy Madison' just before this one, it actually got a lot of laughs out of you, you almost chocked on your sweet snack during the stupid musical number.

But now you're upset, sitting there with your favorite blanket pulled around your body, knees pulled to your chest, arms keeping the blanket close. You can smell the scent on it, the one that gives you comfort. You smell the scent of vanilla (from your body wash, the one scent you always use), the scent of smoke (weed smoke, not cigarette smoke, though you've never smoked a day in your life), and there was the weird smell of redpop Faygo that has somehow gotten mixed into the scent.

Those last two smells remind you of your other reason for the movies and the lonely feeling. Your roommate, they reminded you of your stupid, clown-faced, horn honking, miracle talking, Faygo chugging, weed smoking, smiling roommate Gamzee Makara. Well... he was your roommate, now he isn't, because he stupidly decided to move into his current girlfriend's house. Again. Like he does every time he fucking dates some stupid bitch with big tits.

You hate him more and more every time this happens, it's been going on for the three years you've known him. How the hell did you end up with a guy like him? Well, for starters, you were seventeen when you met him. You had a very lonely apartment home, you had just lost your father only days before and it hurt to be alone without him. He had been murdered, the details are not important, you were screwed to be stuck alone without your beloved father. You couldn't live with your mother, you had no way to contact her since the divorce, and you hated her anyway.

Your only option of keeping the apartment was the get a job and rent out your old bedroom, you having taken over your father's because you weren't going to let some stranger sleep in there. You posted up an ad and someone answered it on the first day. When you had opened the door for this person who called in, you had expected some normal looking guy.

No, instead you came face to lower chest of a guy who was around 6'3 with shaggy hair and his face painted like a white-and-gray clown.

He had only been wearing dirty, paint covered jeans and a dark shirt with a smiley face on it, along with some really beat up shoes. He carried only a few things of luggage with him and two cardboard boxes. You would later find out that this was all he had to his name. He looked at you, blinking, before pulling the biggest grin. "Holy motherfucking shit!" He said, his voice scratchy. "You are perfect!" Before you could reply he hugged you and right at that moment you were doomed to be roommates. But that wasn't the only thing you became that day.

You were turned into the latest model for his paintings. Oh, yeah, Gamzee paints, and he's really fucking good at it. The apartment is covered in his paintings. One wall is covered in weird little finger paintings, but it's in his room and he only does it when he's not in a good mood.

While he painted, having quickly set up his supplies in record time, he told you all about himself and whatnot. You replied with who you were and that you didn't give a flying fuck of what he was talking about and then you told him about the apartment's rent and whatnot. He laughed at this and you blushed, he showed you the painting, it was of you, done very well actually, and then he called you Karbro.

He is the only person who is ever allowed to call you that, even though you tell him all the time to stop. Well... you did, before he stopped coming home. This is the first time in one of this relationships that he's been away from home this long. Two months. He came home once for a box of condoms and a change of pants and that was it. You threw one of his books at him, you missed, it hit the door after he closed it.

You don't call him, he doesn't call you. You have stopped talking to him because he stopped talking to you.

And you hate yourself for doing that. Why? He's a jerk for always leaving you alone at home and having to deal with the rent yourself. Well, you hate yourself because you love him and miss him.

Wait, weren't you upset about Terezi? When did this become about Gamzee? It's always been about Gamzee, dumbfuck. You love Gamzee, you have since he moved in, something about him attracted you to that stupid indigo-eyed moron. Maybe it was his carefree way of life, his almost-constant smiles, or maybe it was just because he looked out for his 'best friend'.

Hmph! Well, so much for being his best friend! That bastard hasn't been home in months and you're royally pissed off with him! You hate him, you hate him so much right now because you love him but you tried to bury those feelings for the girl you liked and then got broken hearted from. You hate him for never being home. You hate him for not being here to comfort you with his stupid smiles and words. You hate him because he's your best friend and secret crush.

You hate him because he's Gamzee Makara.

You can't help the tears that come down your face, the movie long forgotten, same with the Diet Coke and caramel popcorn on the coffee table in front of you. Everything reminds you of him. He was the one that got you to like that stupid, sticky treat when he made you try some during a movie night a few months after you both moved in together. The diet drink reminded you of your house rule of no Coke-Cola in the house, only the diet kind because of what you call the 'Coke and Rum Incident' from you twentieth birthday. You refuse to tell him why you won't allow Coke into the house, he doesn't need to remember, only you were allowed to and it hurts.

The movie doesn't help, why the fuck did you think it was a smart idea to watch a fucking romantic comedy!? You should have just put in one of your many animated Disney movies! No, most of those have a fucking romantic couple in it and always have some fucking happy ending!

A sob escapes your throat and you bury your face into the blanket, taking in the scent again. "Stupid fucking... jackass..." You mumble into the soft fleece blanket. Suddenly something presses against your nose and you hear an all-to-familiar word.

"Honk."

You sit up with a start, quick to wipe at the tears on your face as you narrow your eyes and scowl at the bastard behind you. "How the fuck did you get in here?" You growled out at Gamzee, yes, that bastard finally decided to show his stupid face here again without so much as a warning.

"Fire escape and then the window, motherfucking forgot mah keys." He grinned his lazy smile at you and went to beep your nose again but you smacked the offending hand away, very pissed off at him. You weren't surprised that he came in that way. It wasn't the first time, this was... what, like, the fifth time? And his keys have been sitting on the key hook in the kitchen for two months now, collecting dust.

"Why are you here? Did you run out of lube or condoms?" You hissed out just as he crawled over the back of the couch, landing on it with a soft thud. He pulled a bottle of Faygo from the front pocket on his hoodie and cracked it open, taking a long drink, not answering your question. "Gamzee, fucking answer me."

"I got dumped." He replied like it was the most fucking obvious thing ever, giving a shrug as he put his feet up on the coffee table.

"The fuck did you do this time?" You asked, throwing the blanket off yourself, you were hungry and wanted something better then fucking popcorn. You walked to the kitchen but heard him talk.

Gamzee gave a small sigh. "Ah, stupid cunt got all up and angry with me about saying the wrong name in the motherfucking sack."

Why were you not surprised? Gamzee always did something stupid to cause a relationship to end. "Dumbass." You simply said as you looked around the kitchen for food, shit, you needed to go shopping tomorrow. You found a packet of beef ramen, that would have to do for the both of you. Sure you hated him but you were nice enough to make dinner for the both of you.

"Gamzee," You called from the kitchen, "you know what, why don't you just fucking move back in with me? I mean, you practically come crawling back after each relationship ends since you fucking move in with them and then once your ass is kicked out, you come back to me. You always do. Just fucking live here, alright? Makes shit easier for me."

You know he's smiling right now, you can hear it in his voice. "Aw, ya'll know me too well Karbro." You sighed in disgust. This happenes EVERY. FREAKING. TIME. Every time Gamzee gets a girlfriend, he moves in with them, and when he gets kicked to the curb he comes back to you. He stopped begging to live with you again a long time ago, you just sigh and let the fuckass back in.

"So, how's life?" Gamzee asked as he came into the kitchen, sitting on the counter as he watched you make your cheap-ass dinner.

"Fucking dull as shit. Still working as a slave for the fast food empire and selling shitty movies to shitty people. You know, to pay the fucking bills you keep skipping out on, _roomie_." You spat that last word out like it was poisoned. Yeah, you worked in fast food on the weekends and worked at a video rental store during the week, how else were you going to pay the rent that is suppose to be split between two people.

He frowned a little. "Oh yeah... uhh... sorry and shit bro, but ya'll know I can pay this month and shit!" He laughed nervously before looking at you. "Umm... why are you watching '50 First Dates'? You only watch that when you're being an all up and emotional motherfucker."

You didn't answer him, you just shoved the finished noodles into his face before walking away with your own bowl, plopping down on the couch once more. You noticed the movie was finishing up and you quickly changed the DVD, hmm... you were in the mood for 'I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry', so that went in next. You sat back down and put some of the noodles into your mouth. "We ran out of chicken flavored, I threw it at Sollux last week. You better fucking like beef flavored."

Was it obvious that you were avoiding his question?

He sat next to you, sucking on the wet noodles in a loud fashion. "You all up and gonna answer me bro?"

"I don't fucking have to."

"Talkin' shit out is good for the ol' think pan."

"Leave me alone."

"Why?"

"Cause you wouldn't understand."

"Not unless you tell me."

You glared at him before shoving some of your food into your mouth, bleh, too watery, but you chocked it down anyway. You pushed play on the remote, letting the movie start, though you were sure you weren't going to be too focused on it. "Did you not get on facebook today?"

He blinked, noodles hanging from out his mouth before he slurped them up and shook his head. "Nah, I forgot my password for that motherfucker and I just don't give a shit." That was true, Gamzee only made one because you had one. "What, was something be all posted up on there that's got ya'll bummed as fuck?"

A simple nod. "Yeah... it was from Terezi." You frowned, looking down, you weren't hungry anymore, a knot was forming in your stomach and the idea of eating made you want to throw up. Thoughts of the break up and everything that made you sad were coming back to you.

"What Tersis say?" He asked as he opened his Faygo up again, taking another drink. He offered some to you but you rejected, you liked sweet things but not that shit, it was too sweet to you.

You sigh and lick your lips a little, trying to figure out how to say what you want to say. "She... straight up told me she didn't want to be with me any more. She told me that she was just humoring me." You grabbed your blanket again and pulled it close, you felt like crying again, you were surprised Gamzee didn't ask you about why you were crying earlier.

He placed an arm around your shoulders. "Hurt's doesn't it?"

"Don't talk to me like you understand. You get over breakups like they never happened."

He frowned deeply, his expression growing serious. It made you uncomfortable, to say the least. "There was one I never got all up and over and don't motherfucking act like I didn't get hurt, because I did."

"Oh really? And who would that be?" You reply, curious and careful with your words.

"Tavros, but I guess that wasn't really a break up..." Oh, you remember that name, Gamzee would bring him up once in a while, but always with a sad smile. You only knew a little on this Tavros guy. He was apparently very sweet and cute and very special to Gamzee. That's all you knew, you've never met him, but Gamzee's showed you a few pictures.

"What do you mean by that?"

Gamzee looked down at the ground. "We got into a really bad accident. He... didn't make it."

You stared at him for a second, you felt your eyes widening a little and then your turned you head, biting your slightly cracked bottom lip and feeling like a complete asshole, like you fucking went and rubbed salt on a reopened wound for the taller guy. "Sorry... didn't know..."

"After that I just all went and started getting high, getting it on with other people and the high started getting me through my shitty life." Well, he got high for other reasons, but this could count as well.

"I'm guessing this took place before I met you, you were fucking high the day you came to my door, asking about my ad for a new roommate."

"It happened about a week before that, The apartment was in little Tav's name so I had to clear out." He went quiet, it was scary seeing him like this. You feel like a jerk right now.

Once again you glanced at him a little before reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry, about... snapping at you like that, I didn't fucking know and shit... look, I'm just not in the best of moods after what happened, she's the only person I've dated and it... it just hurts to know that I got screwed over like that."

"It's okay, ya'll didn't know and I just don't really like telling people. So we're both in the same boat huh?"

"I guess we are, kinda." You pulled the blanket closer to your body, hiding more within it.

"Does my best bro need a motherfucking hug?"

"I don't need no fucking hug!" You yelled, but you knew damn well Gamzee was going to give you one anywa- yup! There was the unwanted/wanted-but-won't-tell-him hug that you were now getting! Gamzee placed his head where he knew yours was, just needing someone close to him at the moment.

Fuck... fuck...! Here come the waterworks! Thank God you're completely covered in the blanket or he'd see the tears coming down your face. Why... why does he have to be comforting now!? Why is he pulling this shit now when you've been wanting it for a while, even before what happened today!?

Gamzee buried his face into the blanket, resting his head on your own still. "It'll all up and be okay, it's always going to be fucking okay as long as there are some wicked miracles out there."

"Fuck your miracles! She went and told me that awful shit and that she pretty much didn't have feelings for me! I thought for once someone actually liked me but no! No, no, no! I was fucking wrong! Why the fuck did I think I was even capable of something like this, like one of my stupid movies!?"

"Karbro, every movie, novel and story end differently. We just need to fucking write them out how we want to."

There was a pause before the blanket moved a little and you stared at him with your red-eyes (Both from their actual color and from crying)."Why do you have to be poetic when you talk like that?"

"Am I? I never noticed." Gamzee shrugged and continued to hug you, you let him because it felt so nice.

"You're a fucking poetic shitbrain..." You grumbled out, giving a half-hearted glare.

He chuckled a little, at least he was cheering up a little. He pulled away but kept an arm around you, his other arm rested on the arm rest of the couch, his hand toying with the two rings he kept on a chain around his neck. You were a little curious, it kept your mind off other things. "Why do you wear those?"

He blinked, indigo-eyes looking down at you. He had the sad smile on his face again, the one he has when he talks about Tavros. "These little wicked miracles were ours, I kept 'em, ya know, as a reminder of Tavbro." You got a closer look, they were a set, gold in color with each ring having a side of a heart on it. It was corny but overly romantic, just the kinda thing you liked.

You couldn't help the ting of pain in our chest as you looked at the rings, Gamzee really cared for Tavros, more so then you thought. He loved him, even though Tavros was gone from this stupid world. It hurt, a lot, knowing that because of this, there probably wasn't a chance in hell that Gamzee would ever have feelings for you like you did for him.

The two of your were quiet, minus for the occassional laugh from Gamzee as he watched the movie, laughing at something that Kevin James and/or Adam Sandler did. You forgot the movie was on, you were too focused on the thoughts swimming around and the pain in your chest, the tightness hurt. Your heart was broken, it was cracked from Terezi but shattered from Gamzee...

"Karbro, ya'll cryin' and shit again."

You blinked, looking at him. That's when you noticed the two warm wet trails on your face from the tears you didn't even know you were shedding. Fuck!

He frowned a bit, looking a little worried. "What's on your motherfucking think pan this time?"

"... I don't want to talk about it."

Suddenly he hands were on your face and he started to wipe at the tears. "The fuck!? Don't touch my face!"

"Oh come on bro, let me get ya'll cleaned up!"

"No! Stop it douchebag!" You fought with him, trying to push him away before he pulled you into a hug, laughing as you squirmed for a bit before you finally gave up. "... Gamzee?"

"Yeah Karbro?" He asked, smiling a bit.

"Are you actually going to stick around a bit longer? Your last break up didn't last long and you left a week later with some bimbo."

Gamzee nodded. "Yeah, and I'm glad I'm back. All up and missed mah best bro and shit, plus that girl was gettin' all annoying with me, trying to steal mah stuff too, knowin' I need it to keep the bad thoughts out." He referred to his weed, it was medical grade and he really did need it. He was a very violent person and weed kept him calm. You were fine with this, as long as he smoked it outside or when you were out, no need for a contact high.

He sighed and chewed on his bottom lip softly, scrapping the paint on it. "Ya know, I don't know why the fuck I stuck around, girl was annoying as fuck and I missed ya. But I guess I needed to keep away from ya'll."

You blinked and gave him a look, questioning him on why exactly her needed to keep away from you. Though you didn't mention that you never wanted him to stay away, you wanted him here, with you. Fuck that sounded corny.

He went quiet, thinking a bit. "I needed to stay away cause... well... a motherfucker sometimes has weird feeling things to deal with, ya know, when you go from feeling pale for someone and then soon, over time, ya'll go and change from pale to red feelings and then you're flushed for the other motherfucker and you don't know what to say cause they liked someone else."

It took you a moment to register what he said, but even then you were left confused. "Speak English Gamzee, Makara doesn't have a translation book yet."

He let out a laugh at this before smiling sheepishly, you knew he was blushing under that make up. "I... like ya Karbro, I really do and shit, like when I was flushed for Tavbro."

No.

"And... well... it was all hard and shit to be around you for a while."

Stop talking.

"But then ya'll got into that relationship with Tersis. Felt like I couldn't tell ya how I felt and shit."

Shut up.

"But I was with that one chick and then I got dumped and shit and then I came back but damn you were still all with her and I was hurtin' like a fucker."

God, Gamzee, please.

"Then I stayed away, I was scared man. Like... really scared..."

Shut up shut up shut up...!

"When I was kissing her and shit and having sex, I thought about you Karbro, hell, I called out your name today and she kicked me out the door."

Suddenly you screamed, you yelled at him to shut up, to stop hurting you, to stop playing games with your hurting heart. He stared, stunned. You confessed, just spilled all your words right there where you stood, hot tears running down your face. You told him you loved him and that what you said was like a fucking knife to your heart, you confused him. Does he really love you or is he just confused, maybe using you as a replacement for Tavros?

Your cheek now hurt, he was standing in front of you, his hand had struck you to get you to stop. You looked at him, a bit shocked. "Karkat," He spoke slowly, "I love ya bro, and no, I'm not using you to replace Tavros. He has a special place in mah heart saved only for him and his miracles. But I want a place for you as well. Is that all up and okay with ya Karbro?" He gave you a soft smile, placing his hand on your cheek, the dull ache forgotten by the warm, rough hand.

He was leaning close, you could smell the faint scent of his AXE body wash and his special grass, it was a familiar scent, like the blanket. You liked it, even though it was a weird combination. You were both timid, nervous before you connected lips. Why you two were kissing is beyond you both, you just knew you liked it.

This wasn't the first time you've kissed Gamzee. You and him kissed during the 'Coke and Rum Incident', he got you drunk on your birthday off that combination of drinks and you both shared a sloppy make out. The two of you were also very drunk and had sex, you lost your V-Card to him that night after the clumsy sex. Uhg, what a horrible way to lose it to the guy you like.

Apparently Gamzee drank way more then you and forgot what happened that night after you woke him up by putting a horn to his ear and honking it, giving him one hell of a hang over headache. You asked him if he knew what happened. He said he remembered drinking and everything was a big blur, then he asked why he was naked in your bed. Your reply was that he stripped teased to Lady Gaga and that's where he passed out, you didn't want to move him and you slept on the couch.

Well... you were right about all of that, but you kept out the part about the sex you two had.

The kiss you shared now was sober, well, for you it was, Gamzee was high. You both knew what you were doing, it wasn't sloppy and you were able to enjoy it better. You felt long, thin arms wrapped around your small frame, pulling you close as the two of you kissed. This was like one of those moments in your movies, where the main guy and the main girl finally have their moment where all their feelings come together and they kiss with such passion.

But this isn't one of your movies. This is real life, you didn't do a bunch of things to get the guy and you're not a girl. Gamzee is not some prince charming-like character who is too perfect for his own good. No, he's a pot smoking, Faygo chugging dipshit who needs to continue being your roommate.

And... he's also the stupid fuckass that you love.

"Love ya Karbro." He smiled, pulling away from the kiss, his works make you blush and you scowl at him.

"Don't be mushy with me!"

He just laughed and kissed your nose, saying 'honk'. You push him away as he continues to laugh, but inside, you're smiling a bit. Fuck, Gamzee, you are a crazy bastard who knows how to cheer you up, even with everything that happened today. Maybe he's right, about miracles that is.

But then again, it was probably just a crazy set of events that just happened to fall together perfectly to allow all of this to happen.

Yeah, let's go with that.

END

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Fucking didn't know how to end this but it was getting so long and my wrist is hurting... arg... welp! My friend Kairi is writing the GamTav part of the story, that takes place before this, please read it when you get the chance~!

Please review, this is actually my first time writing GamKar so I'd like to know if I did okay with it.


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